Disabled

I don't understand how do people love themselves. Seriously. Just right 24 hours ago, I was exactly at the right moment, place, and am surrounded by the people that I love. We stargazed, bath in the hot spring pool, did some deep talk and had a really great time. I was so happy, no kidding. …

Ingredients of Feeling Good

Past few weeks felt so good on me. Eventhough the corona shit holds me back from a lot of events, but lately I got my spirit back. I talked a lot with people, also spent so much time to think and talk to myself. Im now sitting on Ai's balcony in a perfect afternoon, staring …

Remember this

Dear Emil, People said that without any notice, a simple stupid thing sometime can change our whole life. I know you've been feeling so confused and twisted these days, after that silly series that you watch on the netflix. A lot of things happen in your mind right now, and you got your emotion burst …

Maybe the time is up

Last night I slept at 3 am and spent the time to watch this Netflix series Atypical. Then some scenes remain on my head. Of course mostly is the cute and shy Izzie girl and Casey, when they kissed. Whatever Im blushing. Anyway. There was a scene when Casey gave a book to Evan and …

Poverty is scary

Living on this island, I saw things closer than before. My people in this country still living their life in an unbelievable low quality. Live in seedy houses, with a very low income, limited clothes, bad nutrition, no education. What is strange is, they look fine and doing their life like nothing is wrong. And …

Living in Nusa Penida

So I moved (hopefully not forever) to Nusa Penida. After a long consideration, I decided to move just a few days after my long work in Surabaya. The reason is only one: I need money. So the plan was Im doing driving things in the tour company so that I can survive and pay all …

Hi mirror!

I feel good lately. This kind of weird things, because I've never done this before; I like to see the mirror and the selfie camera on my phone. Yes. I like to see my body these days. So I've been training in the gym since 2.5 months ago. Now, Im writing this post in a …

Behind That Butterfly Feeling

Why do people fall in love? Why do they (I) fall for the wrong person? As the novels and movies described, it's a beautiful feeling that makes Elio would do anything for Oliver if he ask him to, play the piano until he skins his finger off layer by layer. Jack Dawson gave the chance …

9 September 2019

I wanted her dead too, so that if I couldn't stop thinking about her and worrying about when would be the next time I'd be see her, at least her death would put an end to it. - - Call Me By Your Name

19 August

I overslept this afternoon. I woke up at 6 pm, and -out of nowhere-, feeling lonely. It's been a month, exactly a month since she went back home. I wonder that I ever come to this state again, where I invest my feeling to someone. Oh Im so fragile. Look, I can't even hold myself …